Tumblr (3.0; @thatlookspainful)http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpfgg4RGYf1r13ehoo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>In Iowa, it is illegal to sodomize oneself with a traffic cone without proper headgear.  Safety first!</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8508151271http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8508151271Fri, 05 Aug 2011 04:23:05 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpf9u4BuGI1r13ehoo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>“I swear to god, that is the last time we’re inviting Oksana to dinner,” Jane said.  “Did you see what she did to the asparagus?”</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8505205318http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8505205318Fri, 05 Aug 2011 02:11:06 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpf2e0OS2h1r13ehoo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>“Oh, wow,” Hans said.  “Your dreads are really awesome.  What kind of product do you use?”</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8496281307http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8496281307Thu, 04 Aug 2011 21:51:06 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpdyi9Ov9o1qh5y2yo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Harold couldn’t imagine what had gotten into Lisa.  She was acting like there was something wrong with building their house on top of an old cemetery.</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8489334637http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8489334637Thu, 04 Aug 2011 19:04:01 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpawquYUCV1r0jr2oo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>“It’s okay,” Tina told him.  “Sometimes when I sit naked on a cheap shag rug and forget to take my sneakers off, I cry semen.”</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8485423188http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8485423188Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:28:06 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpf28oMAOG1r13ehoo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>When airport security told her she didn’t have to take her pants down for the inspection, Heidi was confused.</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8480397851http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8480397851Thu, 04 Aug 2011 15:17:05 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpf1juKauy1r13ehoo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>It wasn’t his fault he hadn’t realized Betty had been abducted by aliens and replaced with a robot clone, Henry thought.  He just thought she was on her period.</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8478191188http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8478191188Thu, 04 Aug 2011 14:19:06 -0400scary faceblowjob<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpegyr87cm1r0t80no1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpegyr87cm1r0t80no2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpegyr87cm1r0t80no3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p>“No no,” Jenny said.  “This is a special occasion- there’s a dick in the wall.  Can you make my hair express surprise?  Yeah, like Rod Stewart, if he were standing next to a wall-dick.”</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475905852http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475905852Thu, 04 Aug 2011 13:13:55 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpe9j122Tn1qmo0tio1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Oh my god, is that my MAC lipstick up there?  I thought I lost that years ago!</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475747377http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475747377Thu, 04 Aug 2011 13:09:00 -0400surprised by what she foundbad shoes<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpeh6mOU7W1r0t80no1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpeh6mOU7W1r0t80no2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpeh6mOU7W1r0t80no3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p>“Hey, why are all my socks missing?” Hank asked.</p> <p>“And my shirts?” Jim added.</p> <p>“It must be that crazy bitch who keeps coming in here and pretending she’s a football player.”  Ed sighed.  Next time he was seriously going to have her arrested.</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475497776http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475497776Thu, 04 Aug 2011 13:01:48 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpekpuxnVn1qmo0uvo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>When Barry graduated from the Academy, he thought…well…he thought he’d be doing police work. </p> <p>If this went on much longer it would cut into his lunch break, and he really needed to pick up his dry cleaning.</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475348145http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475348145Thu, 04 Aug 2011 12:57:00 -0400threesometable sex<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpemrd2KIh1qexodno1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Enid wanted an adventure like <strong>Calendar Girls</strong> so she could brag to the ladies at the bingo hall.  But this pisher really thought she was going to put her mouth on his tiny shvantz?  What was this mishegoss?</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475256633http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8475256633Thu, 04 Aug 2011 12:54:00 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp1tagCDrO1qklduio1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Sandra always got pissed when he rubbed his dick on her eyebrows.  It took hours to draw them exactly like Amanda Palmer’s!</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8474951659http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8474951659Thu, 04 Aug 2011 12:45:15 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpevkrS9KP1qjsk72o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>It wasn’t that he didn’t like the Sideways Looking at the Camera Blowjob, but she never remembered that he wasn’t an ambi-bender.  To the left, Inga, to the left!</p>http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8474830276http://thatlookspainful.tumblr.com/post/8474830276Thu, 04 Aug 2011 12:41:00 -0400